Options method

The Option Method, as it was developed by its creator, Bruce diMarsico, is a dialog, a series of questions and answers that allows individuals to see if they can be happier through the process of exploring and resolving hidden, self defeating beliefs that may result in unwelcome feelings.

The basic foundation for the Option Method is acceptance, defined as “to receive with consent.” As practitioners, we take on a willingness to have neutral awareness with respect. We accept ourselves and the person we are working with. We ask gentle, respectful questions, and we witness someone giving themselves permission to discover if they could be happier now, even before things change that they have been un-happy about.

Feelings are not negative or positive but simply the emotions that arise. Many emotions arise and flow; the ones we question are the ones that are unwelcome, the ones that have us feeling stuck, the ones that we default to in various situations that don’t seem to help. We explore whether un-happiness is necessary.

A belief is something we accept as real, something we believe to be true. A belief can be life extinguishing or life enhancing; it can be a set of rules that we do not know we live by. A hidden belief often dictates how we should feel about any given situation. Often we discover a whole labyrinth of beliefs that we have picked up along the way of life from observation of others, our reactions to experiences, family interactions, etc.

An Option question is any question that can be asked from a place of acceptance. A simple one word question can imply acceptance by tone of voice and body language. Some favorite Option questions involve a structure of language that is disarming and begs to be explored. Could you be happy even if you don’t have what you want?